I don’t know why I start these things. This is my third — I always abandon them because I’m afraid of my audience. (Some might say, “gee, maybe you shouldn’t be blogging” — and I probably shouldn’t.)
I should also be in bed right now, but I’m just in a really weird mood. I have about 12 million things I need to do — an absurdly awful assignment for an absurdly awful class is foremost, but I’ve also got to get to work on all the massive final papers etc. that are going to jump me like an ugly mugger in the next few weeks. And what have I been doing? Well, this evening I watched one episode of Desperate Housewives, and two episodes of Gilmore Girls, for a grand total of about 2 hours and 25 minutes…why do I do this to myself? I am going to be freaking out with stress within the next few weeks, if not the next few days, and yet I waste time like I’ve got loads to blow.
Part of it is that for some reason, tonight I’m feeling weirdly lonely. No good reason for it (other than the obvious — that is, that I am in fact alone) — I’m actually starting to feel like I’ve got good friends here, and dare I say it, most of the time I’m actually pretty happy with my life (now there’s a jinx if I ever heard one). My emotional state is just still a little messy. Stupid boys. I blame them. They have taken up way too much of my headspace since I was like 13 years old. I wonder when or if that will ever end. Sigh.
On the happy side of things, my brother’s just gotten married, in China. I wonder when my family got so quirky and impetuous. Or maybe it’s just my brother. That’s probably likelier. I haven’t actually met his new wife, which is really strange. I gather she emails my mother though, so that’s nice. She sent a great picture of the two of them. And she’s really pretty. Go Ben.
OK, now I should *really* be in bed. I wonder if I will ever give anyone the address to this.
